


The Circumference of Hobbiton

by Aria_Breuer



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, The Fellowship of the Ring Goes to School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9555911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Breuer/pseuds/Aria_Breuer
Summary: Frodo Baggins and the Fellowship… or rather most of the Fellowship of the Ring attend school, only to find themselves taking classes, getting detention, and even becoming spear carrier for a play? The excitement's just begun.A Not-So-Typical Fellowship Goes to School fanfic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimers:** I do not own _The Lord of the Rings_. J.R.R. Tolkien does.
> 
> This has to be one of the tougher clichés to tackle, perhaps because we’re so familiar with this setting and these types of stories. It wasn’t easy to tackle, but once I got going, I couldn’t stop writing. And yes, I did get ideas from listening and watching high school, as well as college, movies and musicals. As usual, I’m going to get this story as realistic as possible. So, let’s see where this goes, shall we? :)

This was the worst idea he ever had. For Frodo Baggins, whose curly mess of brown hair added to the cloud of judgement and despair he almost had that day, going to school would have meant facing the facts. He… well, he loved researching dwarves and elves, and yet he was a hobbit. The only other hobbit that spent his time picking on him was Lotho Sackville-Baggins, an overly obsessive proper hobbit with a disdain for Frodo to begin with. But even that was not the worst of what was happening in this class. Why did his parents send him to this particular class? He wasn’t learning anything…

“Mr. Baggins!” announced his teacher, a hobbitess with blonde hair that stuck up all over the place, who slammed a ruler in front of his desk. “Now pay attention. What is the circumference of Hobbiton?”

“Three squares away from lunch,” Frodo said. His own words were met by a bunch of giggling girls. “Well, it’s true.”

“That’s not funny, Mr. Baggins.” His teacher continued. “Now, the circumference of Hobbiton is…”

“The Party Tree,” Samwise Gamgee, a sandy-haired hobbit with an eye for one girl: Rosie Cotton, said.

“Does no one know the circumference of Hobbiton?” their teacher asked.

“Does it revolve around you?” Merry Brandybuck, a brown haired hobbit who much preferred maps and horses to his studies, asked.

“You have detention for ten weeks, Mr. Brandybuck,” their teacher continued. “One more insensible outburst and I’ll put each and every one of you in detention.”

“Miss, I’m sure Merry has an apology he wishes to make,” Frodo said.

“I’m sorry, Miss Hatcher,” Merry said.

“You still have detention,” Miss Hatcher said.

Merry sagged in his seat. Frodo wanted to help him, but then his cousin did make a rude comment. If only there was something they could do, and to solve this problem…

DONG! DONG!

“That’s the bell,” Miss Hatcher said. “Have a good day.”

Frodo stood up, grabbed his books and headed out into the white walled hallway. Already, his insides ached. The day was growing later. Wait… so what did he need to do again?

“Mr. Frodo,” Sam spoke up, getting Frodo’s attention, “don’t you have theater next?”

“Afterschool Sam,” Frodo said.

“It is afterschool,” Merry said. “And I have detention. I’ll see you later.”

“Right,” Pippin Took, an almost golden-haired hobbit who enjoyed spending time with Merry, Frodo and Sam, said, following their friends out the door. He told Frodo and Sam, “Well, that wasn’t so hard.”

“Just what was the circumference of Hobbiton?” Frodo asked, confused.

“The circumference of Hobbiton is the Three-Farthing Stone, connecting the corners of the Shire,” Lotho announced.

“Lotho,” Sam was stunned. “Why didn’t you say that in class?”

“I didn’t want to look like a loser,” Lotho said, shrugging his shoulders. “Although, I do hope Merry Brandybuck has learned his lesson about speaking out in front of teachers like that.”

“I’m sure he will,” Pippin said.

“Indeed,” Frodo said. He turned to his friends, “I’ll see you later.”

“And don’t let me catch you following me, Frodo. It’ll be your last,” Lotho said.

“As always, Lotho,” Frodo said, bowing. He rushed off to the dimly lit auditorium, complete with its red cushioned chairs and grand wooden stage, also complete with ivory red curtains. There, Frodo found the drama club had just begun. “I’m here.”

“Good.” The drama club instructor, a middle-aged woman with greying hair and a look of complete seriousness, said. “Then let’s get started.”

“Right,” Frodo said, clearing his throat. He looked around. There weren’t just hobbits here, but also dwarves and elves. Just what he needed today: competition.

“I am the best dwarf in town,” Gimli, an auburn-haired dwarf, told the dark-haired elven princeling Legolas in a gruff voice.

“If you are the best, then prove it dwarf. Make these candles sing,” Legolas said, waving his hands in the air as if signifying something magical could come from the candles lit. But that did not stagger his perturbed annoyance for the dwarf. “How did I end up taking drama club with you?”

“Oh, there’s Frodo. Hello,” Gimli said, excitedly, waving Frodo over.

“This time, please don’t light the candles,” Frodo said, warning grievously. “We wouldn’t want another fire.”

“Who says we’ll burn candles?” Gimli said, appalled and confused.

Legolas slapped his forehead. “You’re serious?”

“No one’s burning candles,” the drama instructor said aloud, slamming her pen on the clipboard.

“Oh. But that’s no fun,” Gimli said, his shoulders sagging in despair.

“We’ve got to be prepared for tonight,” Legolas said, crossing his arms.

“Good. Then you’re the spear carrier,” the drama instructor said, handing to the elf a long wooden spear. “Tonight, we’ll be doing Hamlet.”

There were a series of groans coming from the boys. Even some of the girls were a little iffy about performing Hamlet. Frodo inhaled and exhaled. Well, if the play called for it…

The play began. There was the Fellowship, present in the audience and on stage. And Legolas was a spear carrier. Frodo could almost laugh, but then he’d gotten the lead role of Hamlet. He nearly stumbled over his own lines, but then Legolas and Gimli spent time fighting each other to see who was the better spear carrier.

The good news of all of this excitement: in ten weeks’ time, Merry was finally out of detention… only he ended up in detention again, due to his stunt in the chemistry lab. Oh, it was the life of any hobbit, man, elf, dwarf and wizard at their school. Enough said.

The End.

Merry tapped his pencil against the desk’s wood surface. How long would this detention last? Did he really deserve such a feat? Well, there was only one thing to do…

“Time’s up.” The detention instructor, a burly gentle-hobbit with an eye for keeping his assigned students in line, said, checking his watch. “You’re free to go.”

“Yes!” Merry stood up, ready to depart the classroom. And yet, he wasn’t finished. He saluted to the detention instructor briefly. “I mean, I’ll see you later.” He rushed out of the classroom, not saying two words. Yes, he was free. Only… now what was he supposed to do? He felt sure he would find out soon enough. But for now, this would do.


End file.
